Monday, December 07, 2009

Headgear of our time: Shower Caps


At this time, in this world, violence was considered bad manners, it was therefore also comedians were so high in price and usually was a common topic of conversation. Yasmine, like all other women, could accept a shower cap in case it made the world a better, less violent. Scientist Alphonse Baldrich was already sitting at the breakfast table, a powerful construction in oak. Large turquoise glass bowls, baskets with all kinds of bread slices rubbed with a few covers and an open morning. His glasses had slipped down slightly, but the arches rested securely on his round nose that protruded above the mouth, also the somewhat conspicuous remarkable.

The thick fleshy lips and gave it a form that could only be likened to that of actor Chazz Palmateri or the grill of an old Aston Martin, especially when he opened it slightly and let the morning warm breath wafted over the porridge. His daughter, Yasmine was silent on bare feet feet down from the bedroom and almost noiselessly sat down at the other end of the table.
- You Yass, (he called his daughter so ),... read that an escaped gorilla at a zoo in Holland and entered the restaurant. First thought it was a new piece by Henry "I will do anything just my vocabulary is enough to" Schyffert.
Yasmine replied to him, took the silver spoon of porridge. She lifted it, already with great skill, she could keep his hand in under a shower cap so that the spoon reached her lips seekers. This technique meant that she almost sucked the porridge from the spoon. Scientist Alphonse Baldrich had been one of those who put forward a shower cap as a visible mandatory way in society.
The proposal was eventually adopted by a sufficient number of politicians, not without skilful lobbyists in the media, in order to obtain regulatory impact. In brief, it provides that the West must obtain an alternative to headgear that has long been emphasized by the fundamentalist parts of the East. The debate brought with it some side effects - and, new questions.

Headgear would only apply to women? Some feminists believed that his turban was prettier than bicycle helmet.But this was not really a helmet issue.Foremost was that women would wear shower cap every tim they went out of their bed. Yasmine stood up at the table so the orangejuice in glasses vibrated to.
- Where are you going Yass?, "Said Alphonse immediately Baldrich and look up from the newspaper's entertainment pages.
- I stick to Mc Brandenburger Kebab, will meet Johnny Fake. We shall go on trotting.The major races are in town, do not you? Alphonse Baldrich screwed something on it, rustling in the newspaper.
- But you know, that last weekend I was in Halmstad. Saw that the one where comedian Beth-more would have been SEK 180 for one would see him perform at the theater? The hip hopping, monotonously chanting, primitive beetle!
- No, I did not know "said Yasmine and advised to shower cap slightly as she turned to leave the dining room. She knew that Alphonse, her father did not want to talk about shower cap and tried to talk about other things. As she did not know that the Bet was far more advanced both for him and Halland. In Halland wanted to be simple stuff, not åsdant as associate to the big city bustle intellectuals.
- I KNOW, I KNOW ! "Cried Alphonse after her when she was already on the way down the stairs to the house's ground floor.
Yes, perhaps he knew.
Stefan o Krister and that sort of thing. When we went out there was a concern simply DRIVELLER as much as possible once you started digging in my purse. Yasmine walked elegantly down the street to their new Hamsterdam shoes.
As carrier of the Swedish shower cap, she was pretty proud after all. She nodded to a few girlfriends on the street, even they in their happy shower caps. Elisa had one blue.
The transparent "look at the surface", as it was called, seemed slightly larger than her own.
Yasmine was thinking that she must remember to ask at one point, her shower cap actually did the measurements. In front of the Brandenburger Kebab sat Johnny Fake already at a small table in a chair, like everyone else, were screwed to the floor, because they could not be used as weapons.
The Society of mandatory shower cap, entered into an agreement, at least the hope, whether that violence, abuse and jealousy would be reduced.
If the women looked about alike, there would be less strife. In addition, they shopped less. Shower cap was like a school uniform for women, with the difference that it was not just in school.
- Are you ready?, "He said simply and patted her on the amen. They went immediately toward the racetrack, a walk of almost 90 minutes. Fake Johnny wanted to save taxi money for something better, namely the existence of a winning chance in race 5, horse, No 11. (O´l Shithouse) (O'l Shit House)
Yasmine knew after half an hour what it steamed by her breath inside the cap, there was fog on the surface look, but with Johnny's help, it was pretty good anyway. Vid en kiosk stannade han till. At a kiosk, he stopped. He looked investigating the woman in there (Ronja), which also, of course, she was standing in his shower cap and smiled.
- Give me some money, or I pull off your hat! Fake Johnny could have intimidating when he wanted it. Yasmine stod en bit ifrån och hörde inte ordväxlingen. Yasmine was standing away from and did not hear the altercation.Ronja in the kiosk knew that if she was visible, and seen without a hat, for example Uncle Brian, could she be humiliated, the rest of his life, not to mention, that she could never be married to the was planned. She would be married soon and was selected in Jokkmokk. Clear that she was both suspicious and discouraged to the whole,but it had been said to her that he lived at least not in a cave.
Yasmine was still some distance from the kiosk, the nearest street. She was of course an elegant eye-catcher, tall and handsome with their high-heeled shoes of Amsterdam, and at the top, his head a Swedish shower cap of the best quality.A slowly passing car by Skoda distracted her. The music from the car was highly screwed. The car almost bounced a bit on his worn tires. Inside sat August and Yemenito, who nonchalantly smoking his Dromedary-cigarettes. Yasmine knew the music, it was a new hit with Cool Shit House, which recently had a major success at the Hultsfred festival. When the car finally passed, she happened to turn around, and saw right now that Johnny had, it seemed aggressive altercation with the woman in the stall door.
Yasmine woke up and walked boldly forward;
- Why should you yell on her?!
The woman inside the booth seemed anxious and Yasmine said immediately;
- You stop that maccaroniboy! Or I take off my my shower cap! Fake startled, dropped her chin, as they say, but continued to keep a stranglehold on the Ronja the kiosk door.
- I just want her money!, "Said Johnny in the direction of Yasmine.
- Then it will be like this!, Said Yasmine and tore off his shower cap and slapped it in the street. Johnny Fake released slowly, shocked, surprised by all means, the grip on the woman in the kiosk, tumbled himself half up over the papers that lay on the outer disk in front of the door, slid nerårt, pulled a few magazines with them in the case. He was simply screaming;
- NOOOOOO! - NOOOOOO! OH NO! OH NO!Why?! How could you do this to me! Yasmine! EEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeK!! Yasmine! EEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeK!
Yasmine put a shoe on his fallen shower cap and stepped into, screwed the plastic heel of his Hamsterdamsko against smågrusiga sidewalk. Johnny was on his knees in his Dressman Truser and writhing in stomach pain; --
- AAAAArrrGNEEEEEEEEJ. - AAAAArrrGNOOOOOOOO!YOU have massacered Our Future! You are fallen to hell woman!!Byäh! Byäh! And I'm a fallen man who has been misled by the biggest villagewhore! You have blasphemed!You have blasphemed!

An ambulance arrived later and took him, Johnny Fake, the man who knew how a grindstone would be deducted. Yasmine Baldrich, who revolted outside the kiosk, the whole world as it seemed, went home. Her father Alphonse was still sitting at the dining table, this time looking in the newspaper. He noticed that Yasmine sat down at the other end of the table, but a shower cap.
He raised his eyes from the newspaper, he would threaten her with an honorary shower, discreetly within a month conducted by his brother, Svante and his twin sons and Örjan beginning. But before he raised his eyes, he read aloud from the newspaper, clearly tired, so late in the day;
- That Robert Gustafsson, what may be popular, all his well-paid joke goes what will soon put on to dig into their own or other people's underpants. He should fucking work at health care.
- It's because he's well-being fascist, Dad, "said Yasmine straight back at the other end of the table.
-Well being fascist?Percy Nileguaard was well a good example.Have you heard the audience? Good laughs and spontaneous with how bullying humor whatsoever!
- So true, Dad.We've earned it.
Now Alphonse looked up over the edge of the newspaper page;
- What...., Yass. What have you done?
-The right thing. I threw his cap outside the kiosk at Battingstigen.
Alphonse Baldrich dropped the newspaper on the table. With a free hand he took a vingum out of the bowl with afternoon snacks. His bushy eyebrows accenture like equality with Chazz Palminteri. His mouth looked like the grill of an old Aston Martin.
- You, Yazz. Yes, you did the right thing. You did what everyman would have done,he said after the brief hearing the whole story, narrated by his delicate daughter.
But he continued his sermon, however;
- Large locust swarms will be visiting your bed. The walls you built up in your world will crumble, your loved ones are doomed to destruction. In hell, you will cry for help, but will only prayers heard by the false prophets.
- You mean just as it is in this world?
- Yes. preciscly, hahaha. exactly, hahaha. But it is fortunate that we have humor. Can´t you see, shower cap is just a joke. You have seen through it.
Those who do not see through, are the ones who suffer most. You opened your conscience on Battingstigen, for daylight healing power. Fake Johnny is still suffering, he has not seen through.